My Story: Broken to Monster to Redeemed

(Video is here.)

People naturally put their trust in things of this world for comfort or purpose. Might be people close to you, status, school, job, money, government, your church. I learned the hard way that you don't want those as your foundation. I'll show you that using my testimony, struggles, and what I learned trying to get ahead in this world. How our sinful nature and the world's philosophy causes most of our problems. How we're led to misery in this life and eternal damnation in the next.

Then, I'll show you how putting your faith in Jesus Christ changes all of that. You'll see that Jesus Christ has real power. If He saved and delivered me, you know there's nobody beyond His reach. Let's start from the beginning.

Start with an Uphill Battle

Although living in many places, I spent much of my childhood in rural areas. Like a good-ole country boy, I enjoyed BBQ, guns, and campfires. I liked movies, games, science, and exploring the cities, too. Many of us found country life peaceful, but boring and isolating, too. We wanted the rest of what the world offers. We dreamed of living better lives in other places.

I was considered mentally gifted. I was a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and full of great ideas. I was socially and physically weaker. That's not a good combo in rural areas. People excluded and mocked "nerds" like us. Even if it could get me ahead, I had no focus and procrastinated too much. People were clear I was different and didn't belong but I didn't know why for the longest time.

Autism

Un-diagnosed autism was the main reason. We're really smart but socially clueless. I'll give you two examples:

Have you really needed to say something to someone, your mind went totally blank, and you were just staring or bumbling your words? And that prevented or hurt the relationship? Our brains often give us nothing to say in social situations.

Have you ever heard someone say something extremely important, you couldn't understand what they meant, and getting the answer wrong could cost you? That's how we experience many social situations, esp "small talk." People told me I was insensitive, a jerk, a creep... you name it.

Negative side: Many of us have to make scripts handling specific situations. We fake small talk. We feel like aliens but we're at least good actors. We might have a few friends.

Positive side: We do like talking about specific things and people. That energizes us. The deeper it goes, the better. We're repetitive about those things. They might be hobbies we become experts in. Otherwise, we talk way too much about it to others and it causes problems. If we avoid that, this deep, driven thinking is key to our brilliance.

How I chose to live: highly-imaginative overacting, out-smarting them, constant jokes, avoiding them, and lying (showmanship) in that order. Three helped me hide. Three made me shine.

Home

On my parents: one parent was intellectual and shy, the other highly empathetic and outgoing. People usually get one or the other. I inherited both traits. I often experience them both at the same time. I still struggle to handle that. One effect is that I really wanted to connect to and please people more than most others.

My family situation wasn't stable. My parents really cared about me. That was good. There still were divorces, much moving around, some people at my homes that were helpful, some were evil, and some were both. I spent more time around women than men since I lived with my mother. It was hard to hang out with men from then on.

I'm just briefly mentioning these things since they affected everything else.

Rough School

How Racists Were Made

Instead of empathy, the black school I went to made me hate being white. They said we never did anything good, caused every bad thing, had excluded blacks in the past ("racism"), and they didn't want whites participating in black things ("not racism"). Even enemies sometimes teamed up to prevent whites from winning in a dispute. Violence was common. Many attacks involved multiple attackers beating a helpless person while witnesses cheered it on. Where did all of this come from? Was it the outside environment or was our enemy within?

The core of their worldview was group identity. How you were treated started with your skin color. Their worldview divided everyone into two categories: one race, whites, were seen as oppressors to critique, resist, or take power from; other races were seen as victims, in an uphill battle, praise worthy, and needing more money and power. Those two views are how they'd look at most situations. In the race-first model, they don’t care about who you are as a person, what you’ve gone through, or about your own dreams. You are your race... or actually what they say about your race. That made racial unity impossible. Then, they'd force you to endure the consequences of their beliefs about your race.

You'd think that would often lead to white people being socially excluded, mocked, and beaten. It did. Many whites developed anxiety or anger issues, including PTSD. Others became racist themselves. It took me much longer to realize the black kids were really suffering, too. They just weren't allowed to show it.

Within this worldview, black kids couldn't be themselves. Blacks with influence pushed other blacks to act only in ways following black culture. They also decided for them what was or wasn't black. They’d mock or beat blacks who they said were speaking or acting too white. That included educational activities. Seeing whites exclusively as oppressors, they'd often resist helpful programs when they came from or involved white people. If we argued with them, they'd point to a few, actual, horrifying acts of racism like the Tuskegee Syphilis Study to justify never trusting white people. In my eyes, racism over here plus racism over there led to more racism that created even more racism. The race-centered worldview that resulted created a confusing, self-destructive environment for both white and black kids. This isn't ancient history.

Today, critical, race theory is teaching the same worldview in schools and churches with the same, damaging effects. Since then, they've added gender, religion, and other labels which are all also treated as oppressors or the oppressed. The terms today include critical theory, so-called social justice, political correctness, and cancel culture. They label anyone who disagrees with them as people committing hate speech. That includes millions of minority members with different opinions. They'll abuse and censor them just as quickly as the haters that came before them. Getting rid of these destructive worldviews will reduce division, abuse, mental illness, and probably physical illnesses caused by stress. Please fight all of these so your children won't suffer like we did.

Where Thugs Came From

If that caused group tensions, you might wonder about people who were violent towards others in their own groups. They started out like the rest of us. Family issues, racism, and other struggles made some of them angry or just not care. Even our school had less of everything than white, suburban schools. It was easy to feel like society didn't care about us or the game was rigged to favor some over others.


The worst of them, the most lawless and violent, saw criminal rappers and gang leaders as their heroes. They wanted to be just like them. We watched them change over time to dress, walk, talk, and act like them while quoting their lyrics. They pushed other young, black people to do the same to be cool. Want to be cool?


Let's spin up some albums and learn how. Criminal rappers sung about selling their souls to the devil, hooking neighborhoods on crack for easy money, using women for sex before dumping them, robbing people on the streets, joining gangs, killing their opponents, cursing cops, flipping off judges, and helping thugs get away with hurting people ("don't snitch!"). Example: 2Pac - Ghetto Star (content warning).


All the stuff happening in these bad environments was promoted by black celebrities in their music to our young people. Most blacks rejected all of that nonsense. Those who said they were about that life created misery for the rest of us. Whereas, the white rebels loved rock. It was definitely less violent but had many of the same evils.

The icons of rock and rap both sold a dream to their customers. Their religion was using any means necessary to get rich, have piles of beautiful women (or men), and be worshiped like gods. You'd be able to get away with anything, too. Most of the time. Their music sounded great, too. All of this lured many people into living like this. I was jamming and bumpin' to it all. Like them, I imagined myself having all of that one day.


What Drives the Good and the Bad

In both white and black environments, what actually drives their worldviews is the same: their parents, peers, and whoever they looked up to. God if He's allowed there. They always left the door open for the Devil. Some of these pushed people toward morals, love, and responsibility. Many pushed people to not care, be racist, and use and abuse others. Good and evil spread by the choices people made. Universally, our sinful nature makes us default on evil. The black school got worse from looking for oppressors everywhere and glorifying thugs. It shows why we need to be careful about who we let influence us and our children.

In that way, some people at my school were different: better attitude, had morals, valued schooling, cared for others, and fun to be around. They often tried to counter the lies of racism and thug culture with good sense. My teachers and friends like that gave me a glimmer of how much better our world could be. I also think they're the main reason I didn't turn into a racist. Their impact proves doing the right thing in bad environments is far from pointless. We need more like them.


End Results


Far as lasting effects, my time in that black school taught me to dodge problems or verbally take on whole crowds. Trying to be black and show out to fit in got more hate. I got stuck with being a half-white, half-black nerd. People in two worlds walk a tight rope with no group to belong to. I got paranoid thinking through everything I did, worrying what people thought, and being ready for any problem. Those habits continue to bite me occasionally.


I went to white, suburban schools later. That was much easier but I was also a teenager with those problems. They were pretty typical. So, I’ll skip them.

High School’s Hardest Lessons

In high school, many things happened. I learned about programming, hacking, anarchy, and Jesus. Then, 9/11 and Iraq. Computers turned my imagination into reality and put me in control (life didn't). Hacking could give me power over others. Anarchists taught us we were the real power and government. We learned how to take it back if necessary. In church, I was told to pray the sinners prayer and obey the Bible. I was active in church but maybe a Pharisee. I'm not sure if I really converted. People with godly character had a positive impact on me, though.

Then, we watched the 9/11 attacks happen live in class. Many of us wanted to join the military and fight terrorists. Later, our President lying that Iraq was behind it killed more Americans than 9/11 itself, maimed tens of thousands, and killed hundreds of thousands of innocent people overseas. The media, esp Fox, would lie that our strikes were successful while overseas outlets would show actual videos of bombs missing and kids dying instead. Older people said it was like Vietnam all over again. We can't trust our institutions.

Like today, church people talked a focus on Christ until it cost them time, money, or worldly attachments. Instead of abhorring sin, it was in all their entertainment. Racial segregation existed across churches, cliques inside of them, and they’d ignore or mock outsiders. Instead of outreach and the poor, most money went to big buildings, bureaucracies, and events for the well off. The homeless and orphans couldn’t stay in their many, empty rooms. Pastors' comments on science showed they never read it. Was all this really from God?

I lost trust in them all. Maybe religion was just lies we told ourselves to feel better about life or justify our actions. I walked out on church and God. I'd later throw a pamphlet with God's Word in a toilet, show Him what I really thought, and flush it afterward. Many churches said such apostasy is like re-crucifying Jesus: I'd never be forgiven. That suited me just fine.

Be Badder, Better, and Best

New philosophy: "I'd Rather Die on My Feet Than Live On My Knees!"

I'd solve the hardest problems myself. Chasing that dream kept me unemployed or in dead end jobs for long periods of time. I put all my time into inventing or improving things. I'd study the best humanity had to offer, esp their lessons learned or experiences. After exceeding pros, I'd get bored and move onto a new project. I handed off developed ideas for others to build. Finishing what I started wouldn't be as fun.

I scored respect from people on top, in the underground, and everywhere in between. I wasted years of my life on such wicked elitism. I've forgotten a lot of it but here’s some “highlights" if you want to call them that:

I overcame social anxiety working high-volume retail. I became world-class at tech for computer security and boosting human potential. As a survivalist, I was an expert on crime, combat, and war. Offense or defense, my specialty was countering high-strength opponents (esp nation-states). My other hobbies included researcher, educator, reformer (civil rights / anti-corruption), conspiracy theorist, business strategist, video games (strategy/shooters/RPG's), parties, being a martial artist, and I made a few people pick-up artists.

What did it all teach me? Our institutions, systems, and philosophies were all corrupted by human selfishness on every level. Every political movement about bettering the world was self-righteous people doing us vs them, often for ego (virtue signaling). The rich, famous, and powerful were all liars. Underneath, they were just like us with similar worries or never satisfied no matter what pleasures they had. They only stayed on top if they convinced us they were worth paying, watching, or letting them watch us (ads and spyware).

Facing death, they wished they thought more about God, family, and things that really mattered. Then, they perished. I saw an evil, meaningless world too broken to fix. If you doubt that, read a history book. People consistently pour lots of energy into things that they ruin over time. Nothing lasts. Why meaningless, though?

The Roots of Modern Evil

The secular world teaches that there is no god, no purpose, morality is what each individual wants it to be, and do what feels good for you. Our universe will eventually disappear into the nothingness from whence it came. So, nothing you do good or bad really matters. This worldview made it easy to see people as objects to exploit or abuse. It's one of the worst philosophies human societies can promote.

With power, we started seeing ourselves as gods. Others exist for our benefit, the sheep to feed the hungry wolves. Get what you want out of them: their money, bodies, and abilities. They’ll usually give them willingly after we use lies or deals to trick them into thinking that’s good for them. Maybe the wolves just bite chunks out of them and take what we want. If we do our PR right, the masses we look down on will make us CEO’s or President while defending the evil things we do. What a deal! What an invitation!

Playing with the Other Side

Getting into the occult didn't help. Trying to hear from Spirits, do dream control, astral projection to other realms, and manipulate others' lives. Most involved are scammers trying to get attention, money, or sex. The Bible says Satan poses as an angel of the light. No surprise encountering real power was always bad for us in the long run.

I'll tell you how that works. If it's good, like dreams or meditations, it always focuses you on pleasure and distractions while evil continues to consume our world. Much like more TV and game time does. Much worse usually happens. We were attacked by those things. We'd be paralyzed but fully awake. If dreaming, awake in lucid nightmares they controlled. Some get possessed to be their puppets before doing horrible things nobody can make sense of. You've read about many on the news. More often, you think you're getting what you want while they're actually tricking, corrupting, and using you.

Stay out of the occult! If you get trapped in it, many of us noticed calling the name Jesus stops attacks that nothing else would. We still didn't believe in or follow Him.

What Effect Does All of That Have?

Worldly philosophy, occult practices, and choosing to always do more got me to fantasizing about most forms of evil. I vented my emotions listening to rebellious rock and demon rappers. Having like-minded people around me made it worse. On the Internet, we all watched sick stuff on places like Rotten.com. All this led me to a point where the worst evils didn't bother me: thinking about them was either fun or I just felt nothing. At times, I barely felt human.

Where does that lead? Con artists, pimps, child abusers, rapists, enslavers, killers, and folks who want to wipe out humanity all see people as objects to use and abuse. Jesus says people like me who plot such evil in our hearts are just as wicked as those who commit the acts. I even started to do four or five of those things. Before anything happened, God stopped me with a heavy conscience and random events that were highly unlikely.

I was an expert on spotting patterns. The nature of the obstacles indicated the universe itself was resisting my efforts while selectively allowing others to succeed. There was an intelligence behind it. Although I sensed God, I hated God for giving me more bad luck than others. "Life's unfair!" I whined.

(Looking back, I think God stopped me to make sure I could tell people I didn't actually do those things. Might be important to somebody. I want to be clear that I was still that evil. Just as guilty.)

If Not Forward, Then Sideways

Since I knew I'd be destroyed, I backed off the worst evils to stay pursuing ego and pleasure. That included lots of pirated movies, music, and porn. People loved the quality of mine so much they bought it from me. But what entertained me the most was stirring people up by roasting and debating them. For roasts, I had sharp wit. I always had comebacks to anything and I would make them give up first. In debates, I liked devils advocating on the worst topics to trigger others hardest. I'd say it was to show hard truths to cause positive change. That was partly true.

Actually, I just enjoyed making others look like fools and humiliating them. I justified it to myself saying their ignorance and apathy caused most of society's problems. I destroyed people's faith in their politics and religions, esp Jesus. Whereas, I gave away "real" knowledge for free to anyone it would help. Boosted many underdogs, helped people with their projects, and some patented what they learned from me. Fans of my humor, debates, advice, and charity all gave me regular doses of my favorite, legal drug.

At one point, God attempted to humble me with brain damage: my knowledge, skills, and even memory of most of my life went... poof! All I'll say about that. I refused to bow. I rebuilt my life piece by piece. I hid my disability to avoid discrimination. I’d become a top performer somewhere, reveal the truth, and tell them a cripple beat them just to add insult to injury. My survivor instincts kicked in between bouts of amnesia. I joked I was the real Jason Bourne. Most years from then to now are just a blur to me. If I ever got married or had kids, I wondered if I'd even remember their names. I decided I'd not have kids for their sake.

All that time, I was mainly motivated by ego and empathy. I self-righteously picked which people were worth my time to be good to and to build up. I'd ignore, mock, or step on the rest. With many threats and past trauma, I overcompensated by appearing outwardly invincible as I tried to outdo everyone.

Inwardly, I felt others' pain like it was my own, saw a world full of decent people hurting, and I could not help them. This gave me insomnia and vivid nightmares. I drowned both problems out with the strongest alcohol every night for years. It probably caused even more brain damage.

The clock was ticking toward me being in prison, dead from liver failure, or killing off whoever was standing in the way of progress. Although bad at multitasking, I was making progress toward all three at once.

God Breaks Me and Quickly Responds to My Call

The breaking point eventually came. My soul was already calling out to God since His sheep hear His voice. His absence left a hole nothing else filled. He let Satan dump more on me: around $100,000 of college and hospital debt (appendicitis); knees, liver, and car start failing; relative had $350,000 bail we had to help with; staff cuts at an abusive employer had me sprinting 13 hours a day, once 18.5 hours, serving angry customers; some other catastrophes I'll leave off. Practically crawling under the weight, I called to an "unknown God." I offered to do better and pull others up with me if He would help me. Still arrogant even as I begged for help.

God Responds (Satan Does, Too)

High-potential people showed up out of nowhere with piles of interesting coincidences happening. More patterns. Those who helped me were Christian. One, new buddy of mine was a predator who set me up at work on false charges to get a transfer to a higher-paying job. The setup was easier because I talked and acted rudely and inappropriately to everyone, including her. God's discipline for my sins.

About this time, I was reflecting on my past in near depression. I was thinking: "I'm sorry for everything I said and did to all of you." I wanted to tell as many as possible to their faces, too. Right what wrongs I could. If I could. It was weighing heavily on me.

Back to the situation. My prayers and plans about that kept failing in unbelievable ways. This time, I realized God wanted me to do things His way, not mine. I'd have to submit to Him. I prayed that intention, she suddenly left, I was still employed, and even the atheists involved were stunned by how unlikely that was. Using that situation, God re-taught me some gentleness, humility, and patience. What was He preparing me for?

Coronavirus Panic

Coronavirus Panic hit my very, next shift. People started acting like they do in movies when the world is ending. Selfish, evil, and chaotic. The people just trying to take care of their families felt helpless. I canceled starting a business to focus on helping them even though we thought COVID might kill me (immune disorder). Praying, reading the Bible, and good works were all I knew to do. I prayed to God worrying I'd still lose faith and abandon Him. I wondered if the Bible was spiritual truth mixed in with the opinions of men. Maybe I could pick and choose what suits me. Maybe He's real, the Bible is literally true, and I need to obey it all. Until He answered, I'd keep reading, praying, and obeying.

He answered. I was tired at work when I saw a flash of bright light, felt like a bolt of lightening went through me, became wide awake, and heard a coworker in trouble ask for my help over the radio. The voice was distorted in a mix of heavenly (angelic?) and underwater sound. I've had many experiences, including lucid dreams. This was different. If you experienced this, you'd immediately know it was supernatural event or you just developed mental illness. I couldn't rule out mental illness. I just started walking toward her. Minutes later, she came on the radio saying the same words, same tone, and same pacing. Everything. I heard the future and then it happened in precise detail. Experiencing an Old Testament-style revelation sent me running toward God.

Jesus Catches Me

I asked God how to serve Him right. I wore a shirt with the Word of God on it every day so He could easily create opportunities. God used a combo of that shirt, obeying specific commands, and narrow coincidences (signs) to point me at a woman who overflowed with love for Jesus Christ. I had forgotten what that even looked like. Another showed up with genuine compassion for me but false teaching, signs, and wonders. Both paths looked good at first.

I visited both on the same day. One side described Bible passages in their historical contexts. Then, how they tied into the overall message of Scripture. The other used quoted individual verses that seemed to match their thinking but with no context. One church focused on who Jesus Christ is, what He did, and followed out of gratitude. The other focused on what we're doing, how God will help us do it, and promised blessings of money and power. The Spirit's conviction plus a brother's rebuke helped me dodge the "Prosperity Gospel."

The Real Gospel

I kept visiting the group preaching Christ crucified. They taught me the Gospel.

"for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;  being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus" (Romans 3:23-24)

I put my shorter version online with proof it's true. So, what does it mean?

It starts with a perfect, holy God creating us for Himself to love Him first and each other as ourselves. We're to reflect His goodness. Instead, we lie, cheat, steal, lust, and use and abuse others. We corrupted our families, businesses, and governments. We choose to be God's enemy when we sin. God said all sin will be paid for in blood. The perfect judge can't just look the other way. When sinners face Him, He'll take away everything we enjoy, even in our mind, before putting us in a lake of fire. If you've been burned, you know that all you can think about is making the pain stop. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, and hours go onto years. It never ends.

Ours is a merciful and gracious God abundant in lovingkindness and truth. He said He doesn't want the wicked to perish but to repent. How will He punish all sin but redeem those who committed it? How does He illustrate His perfect love, justice, forgiveness, and grace all at once? While doing that, how can He set a perfect example for humanity to follow?

God's took flesh in the form of Jesus Christ. The Son of God was born, raised, worked, and was tempted just like us. Jesus lived a perfect life helping others. He fulfilled predictions about the future (prophecies) in precise detail, worked miracles, raised the dead, and said He'd also give life to all who believed in Him and repented. His own people beat, mocked, stripped, and tortured Jesus to death on a cross. Just breathing took rubbing a shredded back against wood while putting his weight on spikes they put through the nerves in his feet. After hours of this, his lungs collapsed. God came to save humanity and we killed Him (or at least His body).

Being all-knowing, God planned all along to use what we'd do for evil to show His love and goodness. He sent Jesus Christ to offer Himself up to God to pay the price for our sins, to endure God's justice for us. While we were still sinners (or enemies of God), Christ died for us. Hebrews says Jesus endured the cross for the joy of saving us. For Christ's obedience, God raised Him from the dead, gave Him all authority in heaven and on Earth, and He will judge us all down to every thought. We can't meet God's standard on our own since we're all guilty of something. I had even walked away from Christ so I must be hopeless.

Here's the Good News:

"Therefore repent and turn back to God so that your sins may be wiped out." (Acts 3:19)
"...that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." (Romans 10:9)
"for by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)
"not by works of righteousness which we did ourselves, but according to his mercy, he saved us through the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit" (Titus 3:5)
[Jesus said:] "I give eternal life to them. They will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father who has given them to me is greater than all. No one is able to snatch them out of my Father’s hand." (John 10:28-29)

A gift, not our works, and no one can boast? Nobody can snatch us out of Christ's hand? What's that mean?

If you choose Jesus Christ, He immediately forgives all your sin. Heaven is like a club blocking you at the door. Jesus wipes your record clean, stamps His perfect record on it, and you're ushered in based on who He is and what He did. The moment you believe, Jesus seals you with the Spirit of God as a deposit on our inheritance. God Himself dwells in each of us. He starts transforming us to be more like Christ. He uses our lives to His glory. If we stray, eventually the Good Shepherd goes looking for His lost sheep to carry them back home on His shoulder. We have full confidence and hope in Christ because He is who really saves us. Our obedience and love are outward signs of what the Spirit of Christ is doing in our hearts.

If you want, you can do this right now to inherit eternal life:

"Dear God, I know that I am an unworthy sinner and there is nothing that I can do to earn your salvation. I believe Jesus is man and God. I believe you sent Him to live the life I didn't, that He died on the cross for my sins, and was raised from the dead three days later. I repent (or turn away from sin) and accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. God I ask in Jesus' name that you please save me and give me eternal life with you. Thank you for your forgiveness. Amen (the end)."


You pray that, start living as a believer, and be baptized to publicly demonstrate your faith. You will need to spend time with God daily, studying His Word and praying, to grow as a believer. Join a local church that focuses on these things to help you do that. You will probably also face suffering in a world that hates God and righteousness. Endure it to the end since He is worth it. You can go to GiveThemLife.com to learn more about living the faith.


Back to my story. That's the Gospel I heard. In my case, God had just used impossible events and a prophecy to drag me to a Bible study on the Book of Jonah. If you've ever read Jonah, you'll know why that got my attention. I surrendered to Christ around June 2020.

Living for Christ

Then, things started happening that never happened before. My PTSD and insomnia symptoms disappeared first. Then, He changed me to love others more, even strangers and enemies. He gave me feelings back that trauma had taken away. Infants started staring at me with wide-eyed fascination, often happy. It's like they saw something else. One animal nobody could touch let me pet it. They used to hate me. During lockdown, I had consistent, inner peace during a time when many, including almost everyone I used to know, were consumed with fear.

Heart-hardened people opened up. God would make words flow out of me that were just what they needed to hear. They wouldn't match my thinking style. Random events at work shifted to benefit more than hurt me while others had the same problems we had before. When trying to help others, random events sometimes made that easier or cheaper. Outside work, one person covered a massive debt for me. (Twice now.)

Prayer had power science didn't begin to explain. That revelation I experienced started me off with strong faith. Then, people whose luck was down told me everything started lining up out of nowhere after a prayer. Some who tried to attack or unjustly fire us had sudden problems that blocked that. After group prayers, struggling and dying folks had rapid turn-arounds that baffled professionals.

God kept doing more. I'd sense a spiritual need in someone, pray (or fast) for them, they'd randomly start focusing on that area, and improve. Some I prayed hard for not only reported those outcomes: they used either the exact words in my prayers or really close to them! Inside and out, Jesus Christ, His Gospel, and His Spirit all had proven power!

Conclusion

Paul says to Timothy:

"The saying is faithful and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However, for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first, Jesus Christ might display all his patience for an example of those who were going to believe in him for eternal life." (1 Tim. 1:15-16)

After turning to Jesus Christ, who I am, my life, and others lives around me have changed for the better in ways we'd all have said were impossible just a year before that. Psalm 116 comes to mind.

God saved other peoples' lives, too. I'd have killed them. Multitudes of them. God changed the entire course of history for many of us. He did that by making me feel compelled to read His Word, the Bible. Just a single person hearing or sharing the Word of God can save countless souls and change countless lives. If you listen to and obey it, God's Word has so much power. The Book of Hebrews says:

"For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and is able to discern the thoughts and intentions of the heart. There is no creature that is hidden from his sight, but all things are naked and laid open before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account." (Heb. 4:12-13)

I was an undeserving sinner. He brought me back, cleansed me of all that pain and filth inside, put His love and peace in me, and set me on fire with His Spirit to serve Him and others. My life now and till death will testify to the steadfast love of our God given through our Lord Jesus Christ.

What about you? Having witnesses His power in me and others, what will you choose?

God told one man: "this very night, your life is expected of you!" Yours might be over before the next thing you do. You can't know. Whereas, you now know that Christ was tortured to death to offer you His hand and forgiveness. Don't leave Him hanging. Give your life to Jesus Christ right now.


If you've strayed from Him, turn back to Christ in obedience and love. Do it now!


If you lack love for others or can't forgive some of them, ask God *right now* to help you deal with that. These are the best decisions you will ever make. Make your life count. Make it count by giving it to Jesus Christ.


Thank you for reading. I hope God spoke to you through some of this. Thank you for your time.

(Read the Gospel with proof its true. Some predictions He made to motivate us. If you're a believer, this site will equip you.)